Healthy Competition… Huh?

Definition of competition: A vying with others for victory or supremacy.Synonyms: battle, contest, corrivalry, race, rivalry, strife, striving, struggle, tug of war, war, warfar

We live in such a competitive world. For as long as I can remember, competition was the fuel for success. It was the desire to be better then, smarter then, faster then, tougher, taller, prettier, more talented then the next person or persons.

As we get older, it not only sticks around, but becomes stronger! We feel that in order to be something in this world, we have to knock down the next person, or to be cliche, “knock out the competition”.

So it only makes me wonder, is there a such thing as “healthy competition”?

This notion is not only backwards, but it is detrimental to ourselves and others. To be so focused on beating another person to the finish line, only creates anxiety, frustration, and negativity in your own life. That, me against the world mentality. It may seem like I’m being dramatic, but I disagree. You can be the crazy competitive type, or you may be the passive aggressive competitive type. Either one isn’t going to bring you happiness or joy throughout the process of attaining or when you finally do reach success.

The fact is, trying to be better then the next person, is not only pointless, its not even realistic. As humans, we are no better then the next person. We may have opportunities in our lives that propel us or provide us with the skills and abilities to do more or attain more then the next person, but that doesn’t make you better. Trying to beat the next person is also harmful not healthy, because when we feel as though we are not successful in our efforts, who do we blame? ourselves.

We are our own worst critics, and we can tear ourselves apart worse then anyone. Why on earth would you want to do that to yourself? Stress, anxiety, anger, frustration… Why would you want to possess that energy. What does it do to your body, your confidence, to your idea of what success is?

Competition also breeds jealousy and envy; we want what other people have, we want more then the next person, or on some level we don’t want them to have the things they have, or have achieved the success they’ve achieved. I guess that would be considered a “hater”… But not too many would link being competitive with being a “hater”… However, I think the correlation is clear.

If you are trying to beat the next person, or be ahead of your competition, then clearly you do not have their best interest in mind, not in the slightest, because you’d rather see them fail before they get ahead of you.

I understand this concept because for my entire life I was extremely competitive. I wouldn’t say I was as cut throat as I’m making the nature of competition out to be, yet I can try to dumb it down all I want, its all or nothing. You and I cannot be slightly or semi-competitive.

If I wanted to be successful, I knew that I had to achieve more then the next, be “smarter” then the next, more aggressive, etc… In retrospect, its also quite an alienating way to live life, because even though not EVERYONE in your life is your competition, the world “outside” of your personal life is, and therefore you can trust no one.

I have learned that success in life has nothing to do with who you beat. Competition doesn’t fuel achievements or success. You have the power to do that from within. You create your own destiny.

Its within us, your own greatness, ability to endure, your personal strength and desire to pursue your dreams… Its all within you to achieve, and has nothing to do with how you measure up to the next person, to the competition.

Instead of trying to measure up, set your own personal standards and measure up to those. In essence, don’t compare yourself to what others have or haven’t achieved. We are all vastly different, so if you must, compare yourself, to you. Set personal goals for growth, self-discovery, and development. Are there areas you want to improve on, not because you think it will make you “better” then the next in some capacity or get you ahead, but because you know it will make you better to and for yourself.

I personally find it so much more rewarding to congratulate others on their accomplishments, to encourage others towards their dreams and success, and to even give advice and provide support when someone is feeling discouraged. The energy from those actions is not only greater and more fulfilling, it will fuel you to be the best at what you do, and will also make others want to do the same for YOU! You will see that the energy you put out, will come back to you, and instead of feeling like your in the mists of a war and only the strongest, smartest, and toughest survive; you will see more people lending their hands and guidance to your journey towards success.

Once you understand that you are responsible for creating or manifesting your own destiny, the idea of competition becomes non-existent or illusory. How can a competitive nature exist anymore when you realize, your own success and acquisition of your dreams, depends on your personal desire and the energy you put forth. Its not external… No other person or circumstance can truly keep you from what you want to do. We all know this on some level. Therefore, if we let the notion of competition exist as an obstacle or challenge, then naturally you will develop a very negative, competitive, detrimental mentality.

You choose. I did.

For me, don’t view me as your competitor. Look at me as your equal, with dreams, hopes, goals, and desires separate from yours; and know that if you ever needed my help in attaining your personal hopes and dreams, I’ll do what I can to provide help or support, as best I can; not contingent upon what you can do for me or whether you are at all my “competition”.